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Permalink Reply by Paula Roberts on 7th mo. 15, 2010 at 12:49pm

In some ways it does not, and in other ways it profoundly affects my life. I have dreadlocks so I have worn headscarves for years, but as fashion not as anything else. The cap and the snood are more deliberate. It's interesting because if I were in Trinidad I would fit right in to the rastafarian female way of wearing caps and scarves so in that way it's not that big a deal. On the other hand, I've taken to wearing my cap out or my snood out and together with the rest of my attire (the long skirt, long jumper) it may be making an impression on other people. I get alot of smiles. I think it was Isabel who observed that plain dress made one more approachable for some.

To be sure my occupation - university instructor - allows me to be much more flexible than other people. I work at a Catholic university/seminary, and 2 community colleges so I think that environment allows me to follow my leading more easily than if I was working in corporate/business professional America.

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Permalink Reply by Elin Hagberg on 7th mo. 15, 2010 at 4:28pm

I wear caps only for worship at home and when I go to church or any other type of religious gathering. If I were to decide on short notice to pray and I am currently without any headcovering I can use anything available even my hand if that is my only choice. In my reagular life I wear scarfs and headbands which are not exactly screaming Christian or religious in any way. In church I have been asked about my head coverings, why I 'wear that thing on my head' but I find it hard to explain. I could just refer to the bible but then I will look like a bible-basher which I am not and I do not want to be seen as one. I could say that I felt lead by god to do so but as it is a non-quaker church that might just be seen as crazy. I am in the very early stages of altering my dress so I know I will find answers and ways with time.

I do not dress very plain as I love colors and prints so the first impression of me is not plain but hopefully modest. I only wear dresses and skirts and I cover from my knees to my neck with the option of having short sleeves or no sleeves during summer. I avoid expensive clothing and anything with a visible brand. At one point in my life I almost only wore second hand clothes but not so much now. My plan is to start making more and more of my clothes myself but I do not have time at the moment and I can find things I feel comfortable in as it is. I wear jewellry but I do not buy it and the pieces I have I would sell if I were in any need of money. When praying I remove them and I do not wear them on the Sabbath. I have gotten comments about my dress though, I got a comment that I dressed like a nun... At the time I wore a maxidress in a blue-purpleish pattern with pinks and yellows and I must say I have never seen a nun in a dress like that. I cannot describe that comment as anything but silly.

I have not had any unpleasant thing said or happened to me, but people do seem to label me as 'different' which is just what I was going for... I hope one day to wear my caps and long (colorful) dresses all the time and feel comfortable and that this does not make other people uncomfortable either (but it is OK that the ask me questions so that I can tell them about my faith)

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Permalink Reply by Ganeida on 9th mo. 8, 2010 at 8:48pm

I cover because, in short, God told me to. My *plain dress* is salwar kameeze because I dislike both skirts & dresses & find them embarrassingly immodest. The covering alone, even if I happen to be having a *jeans & T* day, gets people asking religious questions. It is an interesting witness.

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Permalink Reply by Paula Roberts on 9th mo. 10, 2010 at 11:34am

I absolutely adore salwar kameeze! I'm originally from Trinidad so I was exposed to that method of dress as a child. As an adult I've bought quite a few and passed on a few. I currently have a beautiful cotton one I bought in New Delhi a couple of years ago. They are my choice for formal dress.

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Permalink Reply by Kristen McLewin on 2nd mo. 12, 2011 at 3:38am

I wear a plain, navy bandana with my hair tied back.  I've been covering with this or a thick headband (the headbands were at first... the scarf/bandanas are every day now) for about two years.  I cover at all times outside of the house, and most of the time in the house.  I do not sleep covered.  Covering has been a strong mix of grounded relief and nearly resistant confusion.  I feel calm and right and grounded while I am covered, but I also grieve a bit that I feel so invisible to much of the LGBT community in my long skirt/modest clothes and headscarf.  Does anyone else struggle with this?

I don't get much of a reaction in public.  Because I dress modern plain with a somewhat unremarkable covering, I might get mistaken for very conservative Christian groups in the area or for Russian orthodox on a plain day.  Sometimes I notice that I am perhaps treated with more careful respect in public, but not always.  My friends have either been a bit concerned but supportive, or confused and quiet.  I would rather people would ask, though I don't know that I have a great explanation.  It was a leading so strong and persistent that after much struggling about wanting to understand, I finally gave up on a tidy understanding and followed the leading.

 

I am relieved and blessed to find other folks discussing this in this group!

 

Kristen

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Permalink Reply by Isabel Penraeth on 2nd mo. 12, 2011 at 9:19am

Kristen--

 

I feel free to offer that I sometimes wish I could carry with me two pre-printed cards. One would say, "I am not who thee thinks I am." And the other would say, "There is no such obligation." I think people always feel free to make assumptions and instantaneous judgments about others, but in my own case (and perhaps in thine) their assumptions (positive and negative) are just so incredibly far away from anything I am as a person that it is sometimes overwhelming. And most people don't seem to actually want in on the truth of who I am as a person . . . they are well satisfied with their assumptions.

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Permalink Reply by Helen Gibbs on 2nd mo. 12, 2011 at 12:19pm

Hi Kristen,

 

As someone who has a lot of flamboyant LGBT community friends, I can imagine that there is a bit of confusion at your choice towards plain and simple, along with headcovering.

The real question for so many will be as to whether you will try to be "straight" as part of religious observance.  I feel this is so sad, because the weapon against hetrosexual conformity is so often the conformity to another stereotype.

In my experiements with headcovering, I have been surprised at on one side the positive reaction (so many colleagues have said it suits me), and on the other side the lack of reaction, particularly from my client group.

I am trying to discern the nature of my leading, and I seem to be understanding that it is about outward showing that my inward journey is different from others.  I have been thinking about the "clothing" of nuns and others of the mystic tradition, and that the symbolic nature of the headcovering as a mark of "servant" for someone like myself who for whatever reason has ended up in a leadership role in the world.

 

In peace

 

Helen

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Permalink Reply by Ganeida on 2nd mo. 12, 2011 at 5:56pm

Apart from my covering the religious conservatives would not pick me for a *Plain* Christian; the world sees it rather differently.  My daughter, who does not cover but has a calling to missions, had a very odd conversation recently with a non~believer who assumed, on the grounds of my covering alone, that I was pressuring my child into mission work.  As this is so not who I am, or my daughter for that matter, we have got a huge giggle out of it but it highlights how loudly our choices speak even when we say not a word.

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Permalink Reply by Kristen McLewin on 2nd mo. 13, 2011 at 12:43am

Yes.  Thank you.

 

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