The blog post that was sharing around today by Johan Maurer touched me on a deep level. 

One of my personal tenants of my faith has been to "die unto yourself everyday". Which I interpret to mean that every morning I must rise out of bed being humbled and needing to be aware of how much I don't know about how much I do not know. In my marriage, my mothering, my faith, and the world around me. 

My frustration on my path in Quakerism is this struggle to accept that the current Quaker think ( At least in PYM) is that "We are the best. We have all the answers and everyone else is uneducated in the truth. Might it be that there is still a large group of people who DO NOT think this way and would rather see our meetings open to the idea that we are worse off now in our understanding of our direction than we have ever been.

Today a Clerk of a committee reached out to me to help promote their project. I KNOW that the current way it is being presented is divisive, uninformed, pretentious and just plain exclusionary, but that isn't what they want. They want me to be a "yes man" So I am lost. I am lost to figuring out what to do. I want to help. But actually help them. Not just work their ideas how they want because "They know they are right" On the other hand I want to feel "worthy" enough to be included. That doesn't sit right with me. 

Quakers DO have a well deserved reputation for moving in the right direction BUT I am very worried they are landing right in the middle of Idolism. It is one thing to take on the mantle of the work done by those that have come before. But it is entirely another to assume that we now hold all of the "correct" and "true" knowledge. Pride goes before a fall. We all best spend some time thinking of that before it is too late.

Quakers MUST take on an influx of new people and ideas if they have any hope of survival.

So first I would ask all of my fellow Quakers to hold me in the light and ask for God to speak to my condition and guide me. 

Secondly I am interested to hear others tell their own stories about when Quakerism had collided with your own messages from God and what steps you took to reconcile that. I am open to all of it. And I have faith that someone will speak through God to me.