If someone had predicted a year ago that I'd be studying astrology, I'm not certain I would have believed them. I didn't have a real grasp of what it was or what it could reveal. Only knew the horoscopes in the daily paper that rarely echoed my life. I am still far from absorbing much of anything, however, am beginning to see its function as another venue for knowing oneself more deeply.

 

There are many lenses through which to view the alignment of planets: emotional, psychological, spiritual, vocational, physical, with regard to relationships, our place and path in the world. I had no idea this key opened so many doors. I am privileged  to have been introduced in a spiritual context by a talented, wise teacher whom I trust. Her spin is archetypal astrology with a somewhat Jungian base. That may be why most in our small circle are students of Jung. I am only at the fringes and was somewhat intimidated by that fact upon entering our first meeting last winter. That's all vanished as we devour the monthly lessons lovingly and carefully prepared. We are there to learn PERIOD. Not judge or waive credentials. That had been my baggage.

 

There are so many layers that our teacher thoughtfully doles out one at a time. Often, we clamor for more and she is always prepared.

 

I froze in truthful recognition when she handed out my list of oppositions, the number of planets in my birth chart that lay 180 degrees from each other. Seven, the page spewed at me. We had just been digesting that these opposing aspect are the places we are challenged and must find balance. I felt the room's collective gasp as I understood why, time and time again, I scream out: "Why am I always fighting myself?"

 

It was an odd sort of affirmation that shone light on the truth, but, at the same time, released me from laying it on myself. That's just how it is PERIOD.

 

Yesterday, I spent some time researching some of these oppositions on the internet, especially Cancer-Capricorn, which has been termed the axis of structure and the spectrum of: mother-father, parent-child, abandonment-security, giving-receiving, emotional comfort-self sufficiency and nurture-discipline to name a few.

 

Upon closer examination, these look like a combination worth embracing, not fighting because, when balanced, they can work quite effectively together. For example, something I read said that it often takes discipline to nurture ourselves. BINGO, that's what I do every day, sometimes begrudgingly. I must swim or do yoga daily, take heaps of supplements, use my sinus rinse and spray, refrain from wheat or gluten and dairy ... the list seems endless just to get out of the door. Sometimes, I just want to chuck it all for those I see running a comb through their hair and a brush through their teeth and are on their way.

 

But that is not me or my condition.

 

The daily regimen is and it works for me because I have both the discipline and self-nuturance to do so. In this area, I have discovered balance. Previously, it seemed like a chore. Thanks to the bits I am learning about astrology, I can acknowledge and be grateful for this opposition in my life. Even begin to ask God to help me find all the places that could be more harmonious.

 

• When has something unexpected opened me to self wisdom?

• What experience do I have of meeting truth head on?

• How have I reacted?

• What are some of the oppositions in my life?

• How do I seek divine guidance to balance them?

 

 

walking in,

at first,

a bit timid

 

feeling a

little

outsiderish

 

knowing only

the wise one

who called

each of us

here

 

and

magically

finding

nothing

matters

 

but our

common

thirst

to know

and be known

more

 

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