Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 10:34am

I love the covering and will be in Tucson for spiritual retreat in about two weeks.  Looks like they hail from there.  Perhaps they will be open and I can see what they are offering.  They also seem to have plain clothing.     How nice; thank you for sharing.   

Mackenzie said:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/99549225/natural-linen-snood-head-cover... <-- This is my latest covering. No questions at work. I've worn net-type snoods to work a couple times before, but this was the first time I wore a fabric covering at this job. One coworker said "hey! Great idea keeping the hair off your neck in this heatwave!" and that was it. I'm not wearing it fulltime, and there is a heatwave (and I have seat-length hair) so this makes sense (and has sort of been my "excuse" as I experimented with covering in 2010, but people I've met since then aren't used to it...though they are used to my "unique" style). 

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Permalink Reply by Mackenzie on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 10:39am

I don't believe they have a physical storefront, just the Etsy shop.

Chris Beauchamp said:

I love the covering and will be in Tucson for spiritual retreat in about two weeks.  Looks like they hail from there.  Perhaps they will be open and I can see what they are offering.  They also seem to have plain clothing.     How nice; thank you for sharing.   

Mackenzie said:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/99549225/natural-linen-snood-head-cover... <-- This is my latest covering. No questions at work. I've worn net-type snoods to work a couple times before, but this was the first time I wore a fabric covering at this job. One coworker said "hey! Great idea keeping the hair off your neck in this heatwave!" and that was it. I'm not wearing it fulltime, and there is a heatwave (and I have seat-length hair) so this makes sense (and has sort of been my "excuse" as I experimented with covering in 2010, but people I've met since then aren't used to it...though they are used to my "unique" style). 

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Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 11:31am

Friend Timothy, your wife is much blessed and lucky to have your support in her covering.  That makes it so much easier.  It sounds like Helen also has support from her chosen partner which is very lucky for her also. 

 

My husband has become brain injured some 12 years ago and often acts like a child which proves quite embarrassing for me.  When I cover in his presence he makes fun of me. . and laughs at me.  I am alone in my lifestyle and beliefs which does make it a bit harder.    Still I persist knowing this will not last forever.  Nothing does. 

 

Peace to you,

Timothy Bruffy said:

Hello, Helen.

Have you had a chance to speak with your supervisor or employer about head covering? Maybe you have. Is he or she an approachable and kindly person? Maybe you've already done so. If not, then ye might consider it in private. . .

What I am struggling with is how I will deal with this in my work-life. I've looked at our dress code and I can fit within it, but I don't know how either professional peers or clients will interpret this.

 What do others think of ye now? It is what thou art within that is of more importance. Yet I can see thy concerns in a place of business. Haply you know better those ye work alongside and those with whom you have contact, if so, thou might have some glimpse of what to expect. We can only offer limited advice.

My wife has covered since the summer of 2000, and has changed her type only very slightly since. She felt peace about it. She had difficulties at first with doing so, as she thought she wouldn't seem feminine or pretty to me any longer. This was not the case, not an ounce of it.

I don't know if this is of any help to thee or not. I trust it may though.

The peace of God be with you.

Timothy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Timothy on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 12:35pm

Thank you for the compliment, Chris. I am sorry to learn of the hardships ye endure. I am sorry your husband has a brain illness. My late father had Parkinson's Disease, which is a brain illness, and it waxed worse. He was in the early stages of Alzheimer's before his passing. I know a little bit of what it is like to see a loved one "die" before it actually happens. These brain illnesses will take a person, and twist them into someone you don't know. It is sad to see my father go through what he did, but I cannot imagine a spouse!

Know this: Thou art in our thoughts and prayers. Our Helper, Redeemer, Saviour, and God of Light is ever with thee. Things will not last forever, but those things we do for God will. . . even a cup of cold water! Take strength in the God of all Comfort. Keep on at it. Thy Lord is with you. His love is all around thee and me if we but open our eyes and look with our Heart and God's Kingdom. Look with the Heart. I need to do more of that myself. . .

Blessings to ye all.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Friend Timothy, your wife is much blessed and lucky to have your support in her covering.  That makes it so much easier.  It sounds like Helen also has support from her chosen partner which is very lucky for her also. 

 

My husband has become brain injured some 12 years ago and often acts like a child which proves quite embarrassing for me.  When I cover in his presence he makes fun of me. . and laughs at me.  I am alone in my lifestyle and beliefs which does make it a bit harder.    Still I persist knowing this will not last forever.  Nothing does. 

 

Peace to you,

Timothy Bruffy said:

Hello, Helen.

Have you had a chance to speak with your supervisor or employer about head covering? Maybe you have. Is he or she an approachable and kindly person? Maybe you've already done so. If not, then ye might consider it in private. . .

What I am struggling with is how I will deal with this in my work-life. I've looked at our dress code and I can fit within it, but I don't know how either professional peers or clients will interpret this.

 What do others think of ye now? It is what thou art within that is of more importance. Yet I can see thy concerns in a place of business. Haply you know better those ye work alongside and those with whom you have contact, if so, thou might have some glimpse of what to expect. We can only offer limited advice.

My wife has covered since the summer of 2000, and has changed her type only very slightly since. She felt peace about it. She had difficulties at first with doing so, as she thought she wouldn't seem feminine or pretty to me any longer. This was not the case, not an ounce of it.

I don't know if this is of any help to thee or not. I trust it may though.

The peace of God be with you.

Timothy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 1:59pm

Thank you Friend Timothy:

I am so sorry to hear of your father's Parkinson's Disease.  It must have been very difficult for you also to watch him with this infirmity, knowing there was little you could do to change it.  What you say is so true that these brain illnesses twist and turn a person you knew into someone you do not know any longer.  When we married almost 30 years ago, I never thought it would look like this.  One by one my dreams of a contented life together went down the drain and into a cesspool pit of what I can only describe as hell itself.  My husband has done terrible things to me since his brain injury, truly unforgivable things. . . any other person not committed to the marriage would have walked away without hesitation.  I took my vows as sacred and have paid heavily for it. 

Still it caused me to have an awakening I could not have otherwise had.  It dropped me to my knees in tears more than I care to admit.  For years I have watched a 67 yr old man act like a 15 or 17 year old very bad teenager.  His friends go along with it which also saddens me so I cannot tell you how grateful I am to hear voices of mature males (on this site) acting and speaking like the mature males they are.  But I would expect that from a plain person.  My husband is not plain.  He thought I became insane as he watched me through the years become more and more 'plain'.  And he was angered by it.       

Thank you for your kind and compassionate words of understanding..  You have so many for everyone you speak to here.    Your wife and family are very lucky to have you.  You and they are truly blessed. 

Peace to you. 

 

Timothy Bruffy said:

Thank you for the compliment, Chris. I am sorry to learn of the hardships ye endure. I am sorry your husband has a brain illness. My late father had Parkinson's Disease, which is a brain illness, and it waxed worse. He was in the early stages of Alzheimer's before his passing. I know a little bit of what it is like to see a loved one "die" before it actually happens. These brain illnesses will take a person, and twist them into someone you don't know. It is sad to see my father go through what he did, but I cannot imagine a spouse!

Know this: Thou art in our thoughts and prayers. Our Helper, Redeemer, Saviour, and God of Light is ever with thee. Things will not last forever, but those things we do for God will. . . even a cup of cold water! Take strength in the God of all Comfort. Keep on at it. Thy Lord is with you. His love is all around thee and me if we but open our eyes and look with our Heart and God's Kingdom. Look with the Heart. I need to do more of that myself. . .

Blessings to ye all.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Friend Timothy, your wife is much blessed and lucky to have your support in her covering.  That makes it so much easier.  It sounds like Helen also has support from her chosen partner which is very lucky for her also. 

 

My husband has become brain injured some 12 years ago and often acts like a child which proves quite embarrassing for me.  When I cover in his presence he makes fun of me. . and laughs at me.  I am alone in my lifestyle and beliefs which does make it a bit harder.    Still I persist knowing this will not last forever.  Nothing does. 

 

Peace to you,

Timothy Bruffy said:

Hello, Helen.

Have you had a chance to speak with your supervisor or employer about head covering? Maybe you have. Is he or she an approachable and kindly person? Maybe you've already done so. If not, then ye might consider it in private. . .

What I am struggling with is how I will deal with this in my work-life. I've looked at our dress code and I can fit within it, but I don't know how either professional peers or clients will interpret this.

 What do others think of ye now? It is what thou art within that is of more importance. Yet I can see thy concerns in a place of business. Haply you know better those ye work alongside and those with whom you have contact, if so, thou might have some glimpse of what to expect. We can only offer limited advice.

My wife has covered since the summer of 2000, and has changed her type only very slightly since. She felt peace about it. She had difficulties at first with doing so, as she thought she wouldn't seem feminine or pretty to me any longer. This was not the case, not an ounce of it.

I don't know if this is of any help to thee or not. I trust it may though.

The peace of God be with you.

Timothy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Timothy on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 3:10pm

Like my dear late mother took seriously her vows to remain "faithful until death," you have done likewise against odds, just like my late mother. Seems strange that before I ever turned 30, they had both passed from this tearful valley of the shadow. How similar my late mother paid a price for the vows she undertook. . .

My late father was a kitten one moment, and then in a short time frame he'd be a roaring lion! I watched, with little to do, as ye have said. I learned, though, by listening to him (my deceased father) that when talking of years bygone he could talk on and on. He was clear minded at those times, well, not always, but some of the time. I would try to divert him from laying absurd claims of all manner of unthinkable crimes she never committed, and sometimes it worked well and he'd get himself thinking on something else.

This did not always work, as the confusion worsened, the delusions, the hallucinations, the paranoia, the Schizophrenic psychosis lay heavily upon him, the side effects of mind-altering drugs to help the Parkinson's Disease and the destruction of brain cells, and he would absolutely become nearly possessed and bedlum (lunacy) it was so horrific! My mother received blows one moment, the next moment, he'd be running to lock himself in the bathroom from something or someone he saw—which wasn't there. (My late father lived 21 years with this illness until his death at 71 years in the Fourth Month 2002; and my mother passed away with liver disease a day after her 61st birthday in First Month 18, 2003.)

The accusations he held against my mother and I were disgusting. I had to go and live with my grandmother when school was out for the summer seasons. My mother endured, maybe not the best, but she endured. He even ordered her out of the house, which she refused to his face and nearly got punched for. The stupor he got into from his illness is truly unreal! It is gruesome, grotesque, and tremendously painful! My experience with this caused my own set of problems which led to nervous break downs.

So, I'm glad ye have endured. I am encouraged by thy living testimony and challenged to do better than I am; to not take the smallest thing in life for granted; and to "Walk humbly with God." (Micah 6: 8) Continue to be faithful in all that ye do. The fruit of peace is shown of them that love peace. The seed of God is watered, sometimes with our tears, so it seems to me. Take thou heart. . . Covering thy head is nothing to be ridiculed for, but the trying of our faith worketh patience. So let patience have her perfect work, though it be an uphill climb, the reward waiteth at the summit!

May God reward thee for bearing with thy husbands infirmity. Yea, even bring thee healing, strength, and joy—Joy which no one can take away from thee—which is in the Lord God our Heavenly Father. Cover and tread carefully with thy husband.

Blessing unto thee this day.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Thank you Friend Timothy:

I am so sorry to hear of your father's Parkinson's Disease.  It must have been very difficult for you also to watch him with this infirmity, knowing there was little you could do to change it.  What you say is so true that these brain illnesses twist and turn a person you knew into someone you do not know any longer.  When we married almost 30 years ago, I never thought it would look like this.  One by one my dreams of a contented life together went down the drain and into a cesspool pit of what I can only describe as hell itself.  My husband has done terrible things to me since his brain injury, truly unforgivable things. . . any other person not committed to the marriage would have walked away without hesitation.  I took my vows as sacred and have paid heavily for it. 

Still it caused me to have an awakening I could not have otherwise had.  It dropped me to my knees in tears more than I care to admit.  For years I have watched a 67 yr old man act like a 15 or 17 year old very bad teenager.  His friends go along with it which also saddens me so I cannot tell you how grateful I am to hear voices of mature males (on this site) acting and speaking like the mature males they are.  But I would expect that from a plain person.  My husband is not plain.  He thought I became insane as he watched me through the years become more and more 'plain'.  And he was angered by it.       

Thank you for your kind and compassionate words of understanding..  You have so many for everyone you speak to here.    Your wife and family are very lucky to have you.  You and they are truly blessed. 

Peace to you. 

 

Timothy Bruffy said:

Thank you for the compliment, Chris. I am sorry to learn of the hardships ye endure. I am sorry your husband has a brain illness. My late father had Parkinson's Disease, which is a brain illness, and it waxed worse. He was in the early stages of Alzheimer's before his passing. I know a little bit of what it is like to see a loved one "die" before it actually happens. These brain illnesses will take a person, and twist them into someone you don't know. It is sad to see my father go through what he did, but I cannot imagine a spouse!

Know this: Thou art in our thoughts and prayers. Our Helper, Redeemer, Saviour, and God of Light is ever with thee. Things will not last forever, but those things we do for God will. . . even a cup of cold water! Take strength in the God of all Comfort. Keep on at it. Thy Lord is with you. His love is all around thee and me if we but open our eyes and look with our Heart and God's Kingdom. Look with the Heart. I need to do more of that myself. . .

Blessings to ye all.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Friend Timothy, your wife is much blessed and lucky to have your support in her covering.  That makes it so much easier.  It sounds like Helen also has support from her chosen partner which is very lucky for her also. 

 

My husband has become brain injured some 12 years ago and often acts like a child which proves quite embarrassing for me.  When I cover in his presence he makes fun of me. . and laughs at me.  I am alone in my lifestyle and beliefs which does make it a bit harder.    Still I persist knowing this will not last forever.  Nothing does. 

 

Peace to you,

Timothy Bruffy said:

Hello, Helen.

Have you had a chance to speak with your supervisor or employer about head covering? Maybe you have. Is he or she an approachable and kindly person? Maybe you've already done so. If not, then ye might consider it in private. . .

What I am struggling with is how I will deal with this in my work-life. I've looked at our dress code and I can fit within it, but I don't know how either professional peers or clients will interpret this.

 What do others think of ye now? It is what thou art within that is of more importance. Yet I can see thy concerns in a place of business. Haply you know better those ye work alongside and those with whom you have contact, if so, thou might have some glimpse of what to expect. We can only offer limited advice.

My wife has covered since the summer of 2000, and has changed her type only very slightly since. She felt peace about it. She had difficulties at first with doing so, as she thought she wouldn't seem feminine or pretty to me any longer. This was not the case, not an ounce of it.

I don't know if this is of any help to thee or not. I trust it may though.

The peace of God be with you.

Timothy

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 4:20pm

Thank you Mackenzie, of course you are probably right.  I went online and purchased 3 coverings I will also be able to wear on my retreat.  Thank you for sharing. 

Some years ago I used to purchase lovely simple items from a site called Wendy's Modest Dress.  Wendy is a beautiful wife and mother, and had a gift for making plain coverings and such.  She became ill and closed her site, very sadly for me.  I will always miss Wendy's site, but now glad to know about Etsy. 

 

Thank you

Mackenzie said:

I don't believe they have a physical storefront, just the Etsy shop.

Chris Beauchamp said:

I love the covering and will be in Tucson for spiritual retreat in about two weeks.  Looks like they hail from there.  Perhaps they will be open and I can see what they are offering.  They also seem to have plain clothing.     How nice; thank you for sharing.   

Mackenzie said:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/99549225/natural-linen-snood-head-cover... <-- This is my latest covering. No questions at work. I've worn net-type snoods to work a couple times before, but this was the first time I wore a fabric covering at this job. One coworker said "hey! Great idea keeping the hair off your neck in this heatwave!" and that was it. I'm not wearing it fulltime, and there is a heatwave (and I have seat-length hair) so this makes sense (and has sort of been my "excuse" as I experimented with covering in 2010, but people I've met since then aren't used to it...though they are used to my "unique" style). 

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Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 20, 2012 at 5:26pm

Oh your poor dear mom. . . poor poor thing.  I understand so completely the predicament she lived thru, and you also.  I can agree with everything you've said. . I've walked in those same shoes. 

Additionally my husband spent much time on pornography sites, so horrid.  When I would go to work he would go to inappropriate massage parlors where all manner of everything went on.  Then he wanted to bring one of these women home to live. . . .  It was a horrible time. .  I finally had a breakdown also (who wouldn't?) and was hospitalized for 2 months.  I was so shocked and horrified by what was happening I didn't know what to do.  Hospital staff wanted to keep him away from me. . 

 

These have been some of the worst times of my life..  Because of it I learned how cruel people can really be when they are not conscious to their behavior.  Most especially I learned that I could not trust the one man in the world I should have been able to trust the most.. 

 

I'm sorry you and your mother had to face such tragedy.  Thank you for being so 'real' and sharing these painful memories from the deepest recesses of your being.   It is exhausting reviewing them. 

 

Time to burn these memories in the fire pit. . . and let the ashes scatter where they may, without hurting another living soul.  He has certainly done enough to me.  I  had not realized I was still carrying that awful anxiety with me.   

 

Pease and Blessings to you and yours Brother Timothy. 

Timothy Bruffy said:

Like my dear late mother took seriously her vows to remain "faithful until death," you have done likewise against odds, just like my late mother. Seems strange that before I ever turned 30, they had both passed from this tearful valley of the shadow. How similar my late mother paid a price for the vows she undertook. . .

My late father was a kitten one moment, and then in a short time frame he'd be a roaring lion! I watched, with little to do, as ye have said. I learned, though, by listening to him (my deceased father) that when talking of years bygone he could talk on and on. He was clear minded at those times, well, not always, but some of the time. I would try to divert him from laying absurd claims of all manner of unthinkable crimes she never committed, and sometimes it worked well and he'd get himself thinking on something else.

This did not always work, as the confusion worsened, the delusions, the hallucinations, the paranoia, the Schizophrenic psychosis lay heavily upon him, the side effects of mind-altering drugs to help the Parkinson's Disease and the destruction of brain cells, and he would absolutely become nearly possessed and bedlum (lunacy) it was so horrific! My mother received blows one moment, the next moment, he'd be running to lock himself in the bathroom from something or someone he saw—which wasn't there. (My late father lived 21 years with this illness until his death at 71 years in the Fourth Month 2002; and my mother passed away with liver disease a day after her 61st birthday in First Month 18, 2003.)

The accusations he held against my mother and I were disgusting. I had to go and live with my grandmother when school was out for the summer seasons. My mother endured, maybe not the best, but she endured. He even ordered her out of the house, which she refused to his face and nearly got punched for. The stupor he got into from his illness is truly unreal! It is gruesome, grotesque, and tremendously painful! My experience with this caused my own set of problems which led to nervous break downs.

So, I'm glad ye have endured. I am encouraged by thy living testimony and challenged to do better than I am; to not take the smallest thing in life for granted; and to "Walk humbly with God." (Micah 6: 8) Continue to be faithful in all that ye do. The fruit of peace is shown of them that love peace. The seed of God is watered, sometimes with our tears, so it seems to me. Take thou heart. . . Covering thy head is nothing to be ridiculed for, but the trying of our faith worketh patience. So let patience have her perfect work, though it be an uphill climb, the reward waiteth at the summit!

May God reward thee for bearing with thy husbands infirmity. Yea, even bring thee healing, strength, and joy—Joy which no one can take away from thee—which is in the Lord God our Heavenly Father. Cover and tread carefully with thy husband.

Blessing unto thee this day.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Thank you Friend Timothy:

I am so sorry to hear of your father's Parkinson's Disease.  It must have been very difficult for you also to watch him with this infirmity, knowing there was little you could do to change it.  What you say is so true that these brain illnesses twist and turn a person you knew into someone you do not know any longer.  When we married almost 30 years ago, I never thought it would look like this.  One by one my dreams of a contented life together went down the drain and into a cesspool pit of what I can only describe as hell itself.  My husband has done terrible things to me since his brain injury, truly unforgivable things. . . any other person not committed to the marriage would have walked away without hesitation.  I took my vows as sacred and have paid heavily for it. 

Still it caused me to have an awakening I could not have otherwise had.  It dropped me to my knees in tears more than I care to admit.  For years I have watched a 67 yr old man act like a 15 or 17 year old very bad teenager.  His friends go along with it which also saddens me so I cannot tell you how grateful I am to hear voices of mature males (on this site) acting and speaking like the mature males they are.  But I would expect that from a plain person.  My husband is not plain.  He thought I became insane as he watched me through the years become more and more 'plain'.  And he was angered by it.       

Thank you for your kind and compassionate words of understanding..  You have so many for everyone you speak to here.    Your wife and family are very lucky to have you.  You and they are truly blessed. 

Peace to you. 

 

Timothy Bruffy said:

Thank you for the compliment, Chris. I am sorry to learn of the hardships ye endure. I am sorry your husband has a brain illness. My late father had Parkinson's Disease, which is a brain illness, and it waxed worse. He was in the early stages of Alzheimer's before his passing. I know a little bit of what it is like to see a loved one "die" before it actually happens. These brain illnesses will take a person, and twist them into someone you don't know. It is sad to see my father go through what he did, but I cannot imagine a spouse!

Know this: Thou art in our thoughts and prayers. Our Helper, Redeemer, Saviour, and God of Light is ever with thee. Things will not last forever, but those things we do for God will. . . even a cup of cold water! Take strength in the God of all Comfort. Keep on at it. Thy Lord is with you. His love is all around thee and me if we but open our eyes and look with our Heart and God's Kingdom. Look with the Heart. I need to do more of that myself. . .

Blessings to ye all.

Timothy

Chris Beauchamp said:

Friend Timothy, your wife is much blessed and lucky to have your support in her covering.  That makes it so much easier.  It sounds like Helen also has support from her chosen partner which is very lucky for her also. 

 

My husband has become brain injured some 12 years ago and often acts like a child which proves quite embarrassing for me.  When I cover in his presence he makes fun of me. . and laughs at me.  I am alone in my lifestyle and beliefs which does make it a bit harder.    Still I persist knowing this will not last forever.  Nothing does. 

 

Peace to you,

Timothy Bruffy said:

Hello, Helen.

Have you had a chance to speak with your supervisor or employer about head covering? Maybe you have. Is he or she an approachable and kindly person? Maybe you've already done so. If not, then ye might consider it in private. . .

What I am struggling with is how I will deal with this in my work-life. I've looked at our dress code and I can fit within it, but I don't know how either professional peers or clients will interpret this.

 What do others think of ye now? It is what thou art within that is of more importance. Yet I can see thy concerns in a place of business. Haply you know better those ye work alongside and those with whom you have contact, if so, thou might have some glimpse of what to expect. We can only offer limited advice.

My wife has covered since the summer of 2000, and has changed her type only very slightly since. She felt peace about it. She had difficulties at first with doing so, as she thought she wouldn't seem feminine or pretty to me any longer. This was not the case, not an ounce of it.

I don't know if this is of any help to thee or not. I trust it may though.

The peace of God be with you.

Timothy

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