Well folks . . . just when  life gets back to normal . . .  another heretic has popped up.  And we have reports that the new kid is a first cousin to the bug eater.   Now the new kid is crazier than his cousin  . . . because our sources tell us the new kid is preaching the same heretical nonsense about making a straight road to God.  What is in the water that these people are drinking?

We have done a back round check of the new kid.   And this is what we found.  The kids mother was engaged to a respected man in the community.  And she ran off for three months and came back pregnant.   So we sent a reporter to talk to the people in his home town.  And this is what happened.  We talked to head of the stoning committee and they checked their records.  No one knows who the father of this kid is.  And when the stoning committee brought charges against her for a public stoning . . . her fiance pulled some strings and she was allowed to live.   So . . . now were are getting to the root of the problem.  See what happens . . . when the stoning committee is not allowed to do their job.  Sin is then planted into the community and we have these weirdos to deal with now.  And according to the law of Moses this thing is going to hang around until the fourth generation.

The new kid now has crowds of several hundred people following him.  And get this . . . he has no money.  He moves from town to town like a bum . . . seeking handouts from anyone . . . he  hangs out with tax collectors and harlots  . . . trying to drum up more recruits for this so called  . .  . Kingdom of God.  And he has a little healing act that keeps everyone focused on him.

Our sources tell us the bug eater sent a secret message to his cousin . . . in hopes of springing the bug eater out of prison.   When the new kid heard the message . . . he starts talking in riddles . . .  just like all the other heretics do . . .  when they are asked a question that will put them on the spot.  The new kid declares this riddle " the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear, the poor hear the good news"  

So . . . to set your minds at ease,  we have talked to some of the great teachers at Jerusalem University.  And they tell us not to worry.  God never changes and we are going be to sacrificing animals until the end of time.  The idea of . . .  just anyone can talk to God . . .  is so far out there it's nothing to be alarmed about.   Heretics . . . who are they listening too . . . it's clearly not God . . . it's just the devil trying to make trouble.  So . . . don't go and take a look at the new kid.  And if someone writes a book about the new kid . . . burn it.  You will be doing your children and community a favor. 

A friendly reminder to all the stoning committees . . . a good stoning is a terrible thing to waste.