Comment by Susan Furry on 4th mo. 15, 2012 at 1:45pm

I can report that New England Yearly Meeting has been discussing the subject for years, both our own internal issues and attitudes, and our response to FUM's Personnel Policy.  Most of our monthly meetings have minuted their intention to consider marriages between same-sex couples on the same basis as opposite-sex couples. Gay and lesbian Friends are active in many roles in our yearly meeting and their ministry is welcomed and recognized.

in 2007 the following was included in our General Epistle: 

-- "We were given unity to affirm that the Holy One loves all people equally, regardless of sexual orientation.  We have confirmed this truth through careful study of scripture and searching for the will of God.  We prayerfully and respectfully ask that the worldwide community of Friends open its heart to this knowing.

-- We also need to attend to the beam in our own eye, by talking with each other about sexcual ethics and the deepest meanings of family, marriage, and committed relationships.  We ask our monthly and quarterly meetings to continue seeking Divine guidance of same-sex marriage.  In this process we have committed ourselves to love and forbearnace, and tender care for one anothers.  We acknowledge great pain in our community over these issues.  We seek healing, wholeness and God's blessing as we move forward."

In 2009 the following minute (#53)was approved:

Minute of Affirmation for consideration of Monthly Meetings

-- Friends in New England Yearly Meeting experience the varieties of love in our community as gifts of God.  We are all children of God, and we all have the same potential to reflect the Divine Light in our lives.  Our hearts resonate deeply with the biblical injunctions to "love God" and to "love your neighbor as yourself"

--Just as Friends have historically witnessed to the Light present among all races and genders, we witness that the Light is present among people of all sexual orientations and gender identities or gender expressions.  We experience our sexuality and sexual identity as integral components of who we are as children of God.

--We are grateful for the fruits of the Spirit and the blessings of mionistry and leadership that God has sent our spiritual community through the hands and lives of all Friends, regardless of their sexual orientation or identity.  Being mindful of the oppression lesbian, gay, transgender, intersex, and queer (LGTBIQ) Friends face, we feel a special commitment to offer loving support to these Friends.

--We recognize that families that include LBTBIQ parents or children face additional difficulties in our society.  We hope to remain sensitive to those difficulties and to respond together with love, integrity, and witness when needed.  We recognize the need to support children who are questioning their own sexual orientation or gender, and we support their discernment and living out of the identity the Spirit leads them to.

-- For many years, many of our monthly meetings have experienced the blessings of having same-sex couples and marriages in our midst.  With every marriage taken under its care, the meeting affirms that each relationship is the work of the Spirit, and a blessing to the couple, to their families and to the Friends community.  We affirm the good order of same-sex marriages that are and have been conducted in some monthly meetings of NEYM.  We encourage all of our constituent monthly meetings to discern how they can best offer to all couples the same care, and affirmations of their leadings to walk together in love.

------

It seems clear to me that the Yearly Meeting will continue its membership and financial support of FUM indefinitely.  We have much appreciation for many of FUM's ministries and one of our members, Eden Grace, has worked for the past several years as part of FUM's team in Kenya.  However, in some of our monthly meetings there is such distress over FUM's Personnel Policy that the Yearly Meeting has approved a means by which individuals can withhold contributions to FUM.  This arrangement was approved for one year only in 2009 (minute #54)

Minute for Finance to FUM

--If a monthly meeting minutes the intention of some of its members to exclude FUM from their contributions to NEYM, the MM treasurer will notify the NEYM treasurer of that decision, including a copy of the MM minute with the communication. The monthly meeting will then decrease their intended contribution by the appropriate amount, and the NEYM treasurer will decrease our contribution to FUM by the same amount.  The MM treasurer is responsible for calculating the percentage of their budget that goes to NEYM.  For FY09, the percentage of the NEYM budget that goes to FUM is 1.5%.

-- A fund will be established to which individuals can donate to add to the Yearly Meetings's contribution to FUM.  Individuals may donate to this fund if they wish to help ensure that the full budgeted amount goes to FUM.

-- The NEYM treasurer will exercise care in commun icating with FUM about the potential variability in NEYM's contribution to FUM.

The arrangement was deeply troubling to many Friends, and was acknowledged on the floor to be a very poor policy and precedent, but was accepted out of pastoral concern for individuals and monthly meetings which are deeply troubled by this issue.  It was renewed for one year in 2010 because there had not been enough time for all to consider and/or implement it.  It was renewed for two years in 2011; many Friends testified that it had been useful to their meetings in their ongoing consideration, but it was recognized that it is a temporary measure which many feel should not become permanent.  It will expire in 2013 unless renewed again by the YM in session.  Full financial details are not easily available at this time, but it appears that until now the contributions of individuals to the special fund for FUM have equaled or exceeded the funds withheld by other individuals.

Comment by Susan Furry on 4th mo. 15, 2012 at 2:00pm

Response to Howard Brod's comment:

New England Yearly Meeting divided in 1845 (Wilburite/Guerneyite) and reunited in 1945.  The Guerneyite YM was one of the founding members of FUM.  The reunited YM joined FGC in the 1950's.  We include both programmed and unprogrammed, pastoral and non-pastoral meetings.  The attitudes about homosexuality do not differ along those lines; both types of meetings are among those which have minuted their affirmation of same-sex marriage.  New England has tensions over style of worship, theological opinions, etc., but we have worked very hard to maintain unity and equal respect for all within our fellowship.  Our Faith and Practice was last revised in 1985 and does not address the issue of homosexuality; it is currently being rewritten.

Comment by Steven Walton on 4th mo. 15, 2012 at 3:50pm

Some Friends will be familiar with Britain Yearly Meetings' (BYM) minute in 2009 approving same sex celebrations within BYM and its' decision to formally write to the Governement requesting an end to the discrimination preventing same sex celebrations in a place of worship.

 

In the 1980's Harvey Gillman, the Outreach Secretary for Quakers gave the Swarthmore Lecture  "A Minority of One". This described his experiences of  self acceptance, coming out as gay and Quakers response to homosexuality. 

 

Individual Quaker Meetings hold Celebrations for Commitment in the Meeting House. The celebration can be under the care of the individual Meeting or the Area Meeting. My own Meeting: Leeds Area Meeting (then Leeds MM) actively supported a gay couple to marry in Canada. 

 

Hmmm. I think homosexuality is no longer the controversial subject it was once. I don't know if this is acceptance or "opponents" have gone underground having decided their voices will not be heard.

 

In the 1960's  " Towards a Quaker View of Sex" was published. It was produced by a group with semi official recognition. The document was a national and international hit welcomed by many and known by gay groups and individuals outside Quakers. In brief the book said the quality of a relationship is far more important then the sexual practices of consenting adults, no matter the sexual orientation of the participants. The book was rejected by Meeeting for Sufferings.

 

No formal YM committee or department in Friends House has been set up to welcome LGBT's into Quakers. Legislation requires no discrimination onthe grounds of sexual orientation. YM committees and administrative departments formally accept and seek to promote equality amongst diversity. Adverts have been placed by the YM in the gay press. 

    

In the early 1970's a small group of men and women formed the Friends Homosexual Fellowship (FHF). FHF was to be a social and campaigning group. A number of publications were produced by FHF and circulated amongst the YM. Friends were educated, informed and challenged. Some members were weighty Friends at local and national level. FHF became the Quaker Lesbian and Gay Fellowship (QLGF).

 

QLGF has been included as a Special Interest group in the decision making processes of the YM. This followed a YM wide consultation (RECAST)  asking Friends how the RSoF can be more inclusive. To my knowledge we were consulted once. What the position is today I don't know. Unlike Young Friends we do not have a representative at some YM or central committee tables.     

 

Generally Friends have publically been welcoming and tolerating/accepting of lesbian and gay men as they walk through the doors of a MH and take a seat. There have been voices of disagreement they were few then and almost unheard today. I don't know if  this  indicates complete acceptance or a decision to go keep quiet as they will be an unwelcomed minority. 

 

Same sex celebrations are being held by local meetings sometimes noticed in "The Friend". My own Meeting has held one. Some Meeting Houses  have out  lesbian or gay Wardens . Christopher Isherwood wrote in the 1940's Quakers were a community of the family. I think that is the case today.Children and Young Peoplecommittees and groups exist officially at YM, Local or Area meetings activities.  We talk about being in a family.  A world wide family of Friends or a Local or Area family. We don't talk widely about being a worshipping community. I am not aware of Meetings have separate LGBT Meetings for Worship. I know there was one in Washington DC in 1987.  

 

BYM has with a struggle achieved a position of recognising the qualities and gifts of a same sex relationships and the right of lesbian and gay men to live without fear of discrimination. We give much to the RSoF in BYM and the YM has accepted our existence though unaware of many of us have worked for and promoted Quakers.

Comment by Richard B. Miller on 4th mo. 16, 2012 at 10:34am

North Carolina conservative is generally welcoming to gay and lesbian people.   The Yearly Meeting has a strong tradition of allowing monthly meetings to make their own decisions, so there is no policy at the YM level concerning these issues.  Monthly meetings have decided to recognize unions for gay couples and the YM has not objected.  Openly gay men and women have attended and participated in our YM annual sessions and been welcomed.  I would say it is not a problematic issue for us at this point.

 

Comment by Cherice on 4th mo. 17, 2012 at 1:03am

Northwest Yearly Meeting has a statement in F&P about homosexuality somewhere in here. It is currently a relatively "evangelical" perspective. http://nwfriends.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/faith-and-practice-...

I'm not sure whether any meeting in the YM has tried to perform a same sex marriage, but per question 4 there is a meeting that is "welcoming & affirming" openly and others that lean that direction.

Currently our YM elders are working on this issue, and it will probably come up at our annual sessions this year. Alumni from our university, George Fox University, recently put forth a statement called OneGeorgeFox (onegeorgefox.org, and here is GFU's response: georgefox.edu/onegeorgefox) on this issue and included GFU as well as NWYM in their critique, so NWYM will have to deal with this in some way in the relatively near future. The elders were already at work on it, however, so hopefully the conversation will go as well as possible.

Hold us in the Light the last week of July, Friends! We will need it.

Comment by Doug Bennett on 4th mo. 19, 2012 at 10:32pm

A Friend from Multnomah Meeting, North Pacific Yearly Meeting sends the following information. 

 1.  North Pacific Yearly Meeting has official statements affirming full recognition of the basic human rights, including the right to marry, of all persons, regardless of sexual orientation.  Their minutes also call for legal recognition of same-sex marriage.  Copies of Minutes from 1992 and 1997 are below together with links to the NPYM website.

 NPYM’s Faith and Practice is currently undergoing revision.  The 1993 edition, in the section on sexuality, includes the following setence: “One aspect of sexuality which we are only beginning to understand is sexual orientation. Even as we begin to recognize that both heterosexual and homosexual orientations are a matter of fact, we affirm that all persons are valuable in the sight of God.”  

In its section on Marriage and Committed Relationships, the NPYM F&P (1993) speaks of “a couple, regardless of sexual orientation.”  http://npym.org/fnp/faith_practice.html. 

 2.  Yes, same sex couples are able to marry under the care of monthly meetings in NPYM.  Multnomah Meeting has celebrated several of these on an equal basis with heterosexual marriages.

 3.  The current state of discussion about homosexuality at NPYM is that it is no longer a big issue.  The yearly meeting has been in a process of  reviewing the yearly meeting relationship with Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender & Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) over the last few years.  I expect something to be before the yearly meeting when we meet in July.  It has to do with the nature of the relationship and money and not the right to exist of the organization.

 4.  There is no formal committee of North Pacific Yearly Meeting promoting anything about homosexuality among us.  We all try to be open and affirming and many monthly meetings are registered as open and welcoming communities by an organization which promotes that atmosphere for LGBTQ persons.

5. LGBTQ Friends at NPYM sessions gather separately at least once during our annual sessions.  There is nothing formal about it except for allocating space and notice in the daily bulletin published during the annual session.  All Friends are welcome to join in these meetings and activities.

6.  I don't know what else to say.  It seems no longer to be an issue among us.  LGBTQ Friends are integrated into the yearly meeting.  Some have been Clerks of the YM, others serve on Committees and represent the YM to the world at large when we appoint them as representatives to various Quaker bodies.  No one is singled out based on their sexual orientation.  No one is asked.

 Minute on Rights and Sexual Orientation

Approved July 25, 1992

For over 300 years the Religious Society of Friends has struggled to understand and testify to our belief in basic human rights. We affirm again that there is that of God in every person. We are reminded that "where there is love and charity, there also God is present." We find that the Spirit of God is present in all loving relationships, regardless of the genders of those involved.

Therefore, NPYM of the Religious Society of Friends endorses efforts to protect the civil rights of all persons regardless of their sexual orientation. Our love and support is for all persons and is not based on the gender of the person they love.  We oppose all legislation abridging the civil rights of persons based on their sexual orientation.

 The [ad hoc minute committee] Friends at Annual Session of NPYM in 1992 ask that Steering Committee and the Yearly Meeting clerks publish this minute among Friends and in newspapers as widely as possible. Monthly Meetings and Worship Groups are encouraged to use it as they see fit to oppose discriminatory legislation.

http://npym.org/archives/minute1992_svrights.html. 

 

Minute Supporting Legal Recognition of Same-sex Marriage

Approved July 19, 1997

PREAMBLE

For many years, Friends have struggled with one another to grow in mutual understanding about issues relating to the lives of gays and lesbians within our Meetings, in our communities, and within our families. In our Meetings we include sexual minority members, some of whom are in same-sex marriages, and we have shared times with each other's families. We have found evidence, once again, of the truth to which Friends have witnessed throughout the years that there is that of God in every person.

We have struggled with the meaning of marriage. As Quakers, we recognize marriages to affirm the choice and commitment of individuals, to support loving families, and to strengthen our own spiritual community. We use the process of corporate spiritual discernment when deciding to take a marriage under our care. In recent years most of the Meetings in North Pacific Yearly Meeting (NPYM) have felt called to take the marriages of gay couples and lesbian couples under their care. Each of these Meetings made this decision after a corporate search under the guidance of the Spirit.

Marriage however is not only a religious, spiritual matter; it is also a legal or civil matter. Marriage in the civil sense conveys a broad array of civil benefits, including access to health insurance for dependents, tax benefits, inheritance rights, parental and custody rights, next-of-kin status for medical decisions and visitation. As we have educated ourselves about the lives and struggles of our sexual minority members, we have become aware of what effects the denial of these legal rights has on gay and lesbian couples. We now feel led to speak publicly against this form of discrimination and injustice and for the legal recognition of same-sex marriage.

We, therefore, approve the following minute:

North Pacific Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) is deeply concerned that access to civil marriage is presently denied to gay and lesbian couples. This injustice brings legal, financial and social discrimination against lesbian and gay couples and their children. We, therefore, support legal recognition of the marriages of gay and lesbian couples to permit them the same legal rights and responsibilities that pertain to heterosexual married couples.

http://npym.org/archives/minute1997_marriage.html. 

Comment by Liz Opp on 4th mo. 21, 2012 at 9:22am

Glad to see Friends chime in about Conservative Friends and Northern YM Friends(and acceptance of me as someone who is in a married-by-Quakers for nearly 12 yrs).

I would like to ask straight Friends this question, while the topic is here: Why use the term "homosexual" when people who are gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or in a same-sex relationship don't? It's a bit like when men continue calling women "girls" or "broads" when we women don't use that term; or when White Americans continue to call people of African descent "coloreds." The H word reflects an era when "people like me" we're pathologized.

Comment by Doug Bennett on 4th mo. 24, 2012 at 4:30pm

I’ve stumbled across this statement on sexuality from Freedom Friends Church in Salem, Oregon in their Faith and Practice. http://freedomfriends.org/FF-What.htm.

“ (2-8) Sexuality

“We hold dear the gift of our sexuality, which is given to all persons regardless of gender identity, orientation, or marital status. Because sexuality and spirituality are closely related, all believers are called to be thoughtful stewards of their sexuality. We believe that fully intimate sexual relations are intended to be expressed within long-term, committed, monogamous relationships, and then always with dignity and love. Sexuality that is de-humanizing, promiscuous, violent, non-consensual, manipulative, or predatory in nature is always harmful.“

Freedom Friends Church describes itself this way:  “We are a uniting meeting, having received members by transfer from Friends General Conference, Friends United Meeting and Evangelical Friends International. But equally important to our call is the fact that a majority of our members are new to Quakerism. Teaching the ways of Friends is an important part of our mission. We set out to be Christ-centered, Quaker, and inclusive. We are semi-programmed, lightly pastoral and socially progressive. We believe in continuing revelation. Our Faith and Practice reflects all these things.”

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