Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Donald Eric Alexander on 10th mo. 27, 2009 at 10:46pm

I believe this group is open for discussion of a variety of perspectives and positions related to sexuality. What are you thinking?

Permalink Reply by Martin Kelley on 10th mo. 28, 2009 at 10:45am

Good question. All of QuakerQuaker is a good place to discuss and share from a variety of perspectives. There's no official position on anything. Friends of all sexual orientations are active participants and very very welcome, but I think Friendly discussion is possible even when Friends disagree. In actual practice controversial subjects sometimes get overly heated. We hold so closely to our positions that we forget to be Friends, both big and little "F" and replace dialog with grandstanding. Here's some of the online tips I've picked up over the years:

Agree to disagree;
Assume those you disagree with are still smart, loving, and compassionate.
Reserve judgment to God and remember the planks we all carry in our eyes.
Remember that this isn't the place to hammer out the "right" answer.
If someone in particular bugs you, just stop replying to them.
If you find yourself in repeated back and forth with one person in particular take the discussion off the board into email, chat, etc.

I don't know if sexuality will turn out to be too controversial to discuss here on QuakerQuaker. I'd like to think we can all manage it. But this is a living community. If it seems we generating more "heat than light" and driving away Friends I want to be participating here then I'll step in and blow the whistle.
Martin Kelley
Speaking as QuakerQuaker Admin

Permalink Reply by C. Morningbear Cullimore Mercer on 3rd mo. 23, 2010 at 3:15am

I hope not on the latter. How can people honestly approach sexuality from a single point of view? Sexuality can delve into complicated behaviors that are hurtful and demeaning and behaviors that are ecstatic and joyful; on the other hand it can be as simple as a disabled couple holding hands. What passes for sexuality depends on the couple engaging in it. In my opinion, sexuality is very personal and a gift of God. It is essential for the perpetuation of the species and it is a motivation for socialization. At the foundation of sexuality is gender both biologically and identificationally. How can sexuality be discussed when most people have such a narrow view of gender? Even eunuchs have feelings of affection, and the return of that affection can be sensual, sexual and gender neutral. Though the medical establishment recognizes several biological conditions that fall into the category of gender: ranging from male, female, and intersex to persons short a chromosome and many with extraneous chromosomes. Do not forget eunuchs spoken of in the Book of Matthew, Chapter 19, verse 12. More recently is the recognition of persons who believe they are in the wrong body gender wise, doing whatever they can to achieve a body that closely approximates their gender identity. Among these there are those who do not want to transition but have come to terms with where they are on the gender spectrum. Once we have gender figured out it would seem that a more enlightened discussion of sexuality can be engaged.

Permalink Reply by C. Morningbear Cullimore Mercer on 3rd mo. 23, 2010 at 11:12am

What would thee like the spirit of the question/topic to be? I would hope the spirit is that of speaking truth to power and providing enlightenment. The discussion should include inclusion particularly in the exercise of spiritual gifts. God seems to bless even the seemingly least desirable of folk with gifts of the Spirit, be they sinners, saints, developmentally disabled, of different genders or sexual preferences. Should we be ashamed for ignoring the message of the Spirit because we cannot absorb a moral paradox? These are some of the hard questions that could be discussed in a group with such a generally expressed intent.