Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Betsy Packard on 7th mo. 2, 2012 at 1:09pm

Two of the Quaker Testimonies stand out for me when I think of "plain dress" in any of its manifestations.  The first and most obvious is simplicity.  The simpler one's wardrobe is, the easier it is to maintain, to decide what to wear, etc.  Life has always presented challenges, but I think today, the pace of living has increased as well as the complexity of living in the world today, so anything that can simplify life I view as a good thing.  I am constantly trying to be mindful of simplicity, of ways I can simplify my life.      Equality is another Quaker Testimony that is addressed by simple or plain dress.  Clothing and accessories are "status symbols" in our society.  If we dress simply or even "plainly," we remove indicators of socio-economic status!  

 

Actually there are Anglicans and Roman Catholic laity who have adopted plain dress for these very reasons.    So yes, there are values reflected in the choice to dress in a simpler way or to actually adopt "plain dress." 

Permalink Reply by G.H. on 7th mo. 3, 2012 at 9:56am

What interesting questions... Thank you Betsy for your comments. You wrote what i have been feeling and trying to practice, but was not able to articulate.

Permalink Reply by Emele W. on 7th mo. 9, 2012 at 1:08am

I wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful and thoughtful advice, as well as personal opinions and experiences. It really meant a lot to me and it was much appreciated. Sometimes just hearing some outside reassurance other than my own inner cheerleading is needed!

Permalink Reply by Timothy on 7th mo. 15, 2012 at 10:53pm

That is what we are here for, to encourage each other daily, while it is called today. We all need cheerleading, or reassurance from others.

Thy Friend,

Timothy

Emele Williams said:

I wanted to thank everyone for their wonderful and thoughtful advice, as well as personal opinions and experiences. It really meant a lot to me and it was much appreciated. Sometimes just hearing some outside reassurance other than my own inner cheerleading is needed!

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 22, 2012 at 9:39am

Warm greetings Barbara:   Yes I understand and agree.   I began covering about 12 years back but not continuously.  In my area I do this, alone and I do it on the quiet when people will not mock me, which has happened. 

 

When surrounded by other Plain -- such as Amish, I don't feel worthy to cover in their presence  - - because they were raised this way and I was not.   In my garden, or my prayer closet I feel more safe to do so.  I am already made fun of for the way I dress and eat. . . I handle it as best I can. . . and think I only cover in private to protect the sanctity of my lifestyle.  Sometimes I already feel like a Zoo animal on display. . . don't want to encourage more of that behavior in others toward me. 

 

When I do not feel safe to wear it in public, sometimes I will just hold it in my hands before going out.  Seeing it and holding it brings me back to center again and brings me peace.   I feel the need to do this until I can move away from here. . .to a more appropriate location...and dress more as I see fit to do, which would include covering more than I do now. 

 

Blessings also unto you.   Chris 

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 22, 2012 at 9:41am

Beautifully spoken.  I do so agree and could not have said it better. 

Betsy Packard said:

Two of the Quaker Testimonies stand out for me when I think of "plain dress" in any of its manifestations.  The first and most obvious is simplicity.  The simpler one's wardrobe is, the easier it is to maintain, to decide what to wear, etc.  Life has always presented challenges, but I think today, the pace of living has increased as well as the complexity of living in the world today, so anything that can simplify life I view as a good thing.  I am constantly trying to be mindful of simplicity, of ways I can simplify my life.      Equality is another Quaker Testimony that is addressed by simple or plain dress.  Clothing and accessories are "status symbols" in our society.  If we dress simply or even "plainly," we remove indicators of socio-economic status!  

 

Actually there are Anglicans and Roman Catholic laity who have adopted plain dress for these very reasons.    So yes, there are values reflected in the choice to dress in a simpler way or to actually adopt "plain dress." 

Permalink Reply by Chris Beauchamp on 7th mo. 22, 2012 at 10:01am

Emele Thank you and Bless you for these words.  It is as if I were hearing my words being spoken. . but you spoke them so much better than I.  In your words I truly now see that I am not alone in my way of thinking, living and being.   

I have alienated most all my friends.  They told me I've become very weird and don't want to be around me any more.  My husband of over 25 years told me that people would think I was 'Cheap'  - - - I told him, fortunately for him, finally I had become Cheap. . . but when I wasn't - - before - - he wasn't happy about that either. 

 

People could not accept me for living in my truth. . . though I gladly accepted them for living their truth.  Though I still loved them, they removed their love from me.  The emotional roller coaster I had to ride was very dark and lonely, because I have no extended family. . . so my friends were my family.  But my friends had family. . so they just grew closer to family when they separated from me.  I was left alone with my new acceptance and determination to see this thru.  I read Quaker and Amish / Mennonite books to help me, which I still read again and again today. 

 

Finally after 12 years I have found this site. . . and I see Quaker Friends who think and believe as I do.  I see I am not alone which is a huge relief.  But I also know I would have persisted on, even had I been alone, without ever finding this site.  My calling was that strong that I could not turn back.  

 

Still there is great comfort in the words you speak.  No matter how strong my resolve, I am only human.  I want the company of other  like minded plain people and want to be accepted by them.  Its a normal  human response, though a weak one.   

Emele Williams said:

You're very much not alone. I have been wearing plain dress in some incarnation, on and off, for nearly four years now. No one in my social circle dresses plain.

It's something that I struggle with.

At any age really, but often as a young person, it can be a real struggle to follow leadings that set you apart from your peers. It's limiting my social interaction; I have no desire to waste my time drinking my life away, or any other number of particularly popular group sports. My friends and co-workers are kind, they try to include me in their activities, but many of them are completely unsuitable for my beliefs and proclivities. And yet, however conscience damaging after the fact, I have the occasional off desire to humor them for fear of offending them.

I worry about being frumpy and unattractive. I worry that it will drive off any possible romantic prospects, or that I'll alienate long time friends who are slowly becoming dissimilar by the day. Fears (real or otherwise) that I embarrass family or friends are hard to reconcile. All things that I've ruminated on over the years, always coming back to the fact that I've never been happier living a healthy and God focused life when dressing plainly. It forces me to think about my actions, about what God wants for me in life rather than what I want for me in life. Why should I sacrifice my modesty for acceptance? But then I worry that idea itself is rather prideful...

Permalink Reply by Emele W. on 8th mo. 8, 2012 at 1:47am

I just wish you lived closer by, I'd love to sit down and quilt with you =( Just remember that you always have friends here, and Jesus is always with us. What I've found, recently, is that by just being myself and letting go of my self consciousness I have no trouble in friendships with my non-plain friends. I'm firm in my beliefs (no drinking, drugs, etc.), and open with my plain-ness and that's okay! If your friend are fair-weather, then it's time to find new friends. Making conversation I meet and make friends in the oddest of places, like when a waitress approached me about my clothes at a late night diner one night. Come to find out that she knew someone from my meeting and one of my professors! Self esteem is difficult, but I think that if you're open with your beliefs friends will find you in time. God bless, and I will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Timothy on 8th mo. 10, 2012 at 7:00am

Hello, Friend Chris and Emele!

I have enjoyed the both of ye as Friends here. I have been reading and following along, as best as I can. I have slipped and stumbled here not long ago. . . It just goes to show, we are human indeed. We make mistakes. We stumble and we fall short at times where God wants us to be. Yet, unlike thy husband Friend Chris, He is so Merciful and True. He loveth thee. Unlike thy situation Emele, God is not one to forsake us. . .

I'm glad that the two of thee can be Friends here. We all need an outside voice of encouragement—a second voice from someone else to uplift at times. We have so many problems to repair though. . . In thy case, dear Friend Chris, thy poor husband doesn't know what he doeth. His mind and brain are impaired. One day, that will all change. I hope and pray that thee can find someone, whether here or especially nearby, to just listen to thee and give thee a big hug. That is what is sounds like thee needeth, a sister Friend to wrap their caring arms of love around thee; assuring thee saying, "It's alright, I'm here to listen to thee. I may not understand or have gone through what thee hast, but I here for thee!"

Sounds as though Emele would do so if ye were situated closer by. Even quilt with thee too. There's nothing better for me to see Friends in Christ Jesus getting along like this and that is what we are here for. . . to encourage each other, listen to each other, and then cheer each other along our pathway, which may indeed get dark at times. Like a quilt, the dark areas and light all mingle together to create a beautiful effect, so skillfully woven together.

Glad to God that ye both are following after the heart of God in all thy ways. Keep at it. I will always be praying and cheering ye on, as long as time and life permits. I am greatly encouraged to know the both of ye and thy plain and simple dress undertakings. Others may not notice or care or may even ridicule thee: I see past all of that, for I see the heart speaking, and that is what maketh ye both so very sweet peoples, even with thy plain dress and covered heads, thy heart is purely speaking forth beautifully.

True Friends will always be there for thee. God Himself, doth not want us merely for a "fair-weather Friend." So when the difficulties of this life push against us, ye will see who thy true Friends are. . . God's Light will always be there waiting for thee. His arms of care and love are waiting for ye both, and for me. . . . I hope to be a sincere, kind, and true Friend to ye both and all of ye Friends. I hope to be of some help to someone, then I'll feel as though I've done something right and good.

Our prayers continue for ye all. . .

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