Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Elin Hagberg on 7th mo. 10, 2010 at 5:50pm

I have read your blog and I am drawn to modest dress but similar to your experience I also feel that I want to wear clothes that are modest in a modern context. I am still trying to find exactly what I should wear trying different outfits and combinations. What I have found is that I do not want to wear pants if I can avoid it but rather skirts and dresses. I have also found that patterns and strong colors do not feel wrong to me so I would necessarily call myself 'plain' but I feel that my dress is part of my worship. I am trying to cover my head every day but I am not yet at the stage where I do this every day but most days. I wear headbands and scarfs at work and when I go into town and crochet caps (my own design) when I am at home or in church.

I feel strongly for the quaker faith but I am isolated and I have never attended a meeting. From the first time I heard of quakerism I have never been able to get it totally out of my head and the more I learn the more sure I feel that this is my way. I go to an evangelical lutheran church near my home to have Christian friends and pray together with other people but I am not 100% 'there' but it is the best solution as it is right now.

I would really like to have some contact with you although I am very far away from you, in Sweden but you can visit my blog if you like (some of my entries are in English) elliha.blogspot.com or contact me here. I would really like to have some kind of discussion about being in isolation and how to tackle it.

Permalink Reply by Nanna Kapp on 7th mo. 10, 2010 at 7:44pm

Hello Elin,

Yes, I would love to be in contact with you. It is very important to have that connection with each other especially when we are isolated and do not have any other fellowship. I handle 1st day just as if I were going to the meeting house, except I am in my own chair in my own living room. I wait on the Lord quietly, have bible reading time, have prayer for others and sometimes sing if I am led to.

I start everyday with waiting on the Lord, bible reading, and prayer time. Its just on 1st day it is more extended and I may give a fair amount of the day just reading helpful books as well. Sometimes books that are online as well.

That is pretty much how I handle things in a nut shell.
Thanks for contacting me, I appreciate it.

Peace to you,

Nanna Kapp (Lee)

Permalink Reply by Cathy McMickle on 9th mo. 5, 2010 at 12:40pm

Hello, Nanna Kapp. I have recently discovered Quaker truth and consider myself a conservative Quaker. I am experimenting with simple dress and lifestyle. I, too, am isolated and live on the east coast also. I am looking to meet new people on here, those like us, in the same situation. I, like Elin, can't get Quakerism "out of my head". It seems so right for me. We have a meeting close by, but it is FCG and FUM affliliated. I would love to hear from you!

Cathy

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Webb on 9th mo. 12, 2010 at 3:50pm

Dearest Friends,

I have been meaning to reply to this post for a few months now, and I apologize for my delay due to my busy schedule. (Plus I knew it would take me a while to type all I wished to say!) I feel drawn to the same things all of thee mentioned, although I am new as well to Quakerism. I currently live in Arizona, but my family is trying to move to Maine as soon as possible. I am a lifelong Christian, of a various background. During my early years I was taken to Mass as my father is Catholic. My mother is a baptist, so later on we tried Bible Churches. In high school I befriended a group of Mormons and ended up getting baptized in that faith, but in college fell away. For years afterward I was a solitary Christian following my own faith without a local fellowship or specific denomination to call home. Although this was fine, about a year and a half ago I discovered Quakerism, and finally felt I had a label to identify my faith I have had all along. Quakerism was something that began to build for me, and although I went about my same life for nearly a year and half after first discovering it, it would not fade but instead became more intense, a continual thing that surfaced for me out of unsuspecting places.

Having had a lot of influence from the LDS church in my past about modest dress, although I was a flamboyant dresser in the past, I am now seriously drawn to plain dress. For a long time I had thought about the Quaker faith, as I learned quietly on my own. It would not fade away, but increasingly got more and more prominent in my life. I began researching plain dress and reading everything I could on the subject. Quakerjane.com and quakeranne.com became important sources of information and encouragement to me, although I had yet to take the plunge and purchase anything to wear myself.

I discovered after an unsuspecting email to a high school friend that I recently reconnected with after years, that she has been a Friend for decades. We had been discussing my family's plans to move back east and my moment of submission to flexibility in order to make the move happen. She said it was good that I seemed to be "listening" and eager to hear or see the doors that would open in order to allow God's will to occur. She closed her email with the phrase "Sending you lots of Love and Light." That one word Light sparked a reply form me, to ask her why she chose that one word. I explained that I had been researching the Quaker faith, and that it was something that kept surfacing in my life, and that I felt compelled to submit to it. She replied that she had deleted the word light three times, and finally decided that she felt the need to include it, no matter how it was received. Well, I noticed it, and in a positive way! After my reply she disclosed that she had attended a meeting for most of her life, and it was something I had never known about her. For some reason this was a turning point for me, a realization and confirmation to me that it IS the path for me, and that I can't keep avoiding it. I spoke with my husband about the uncanny things that kept happening that keep pushing this in front of me. I felt that it was time I accepted it and stopped thinking about whether or not it was right. It was obvious, and I could ignore it no longer, things were virtually screaming at me, in my face that this was right for me. He said he understood and was fine with it. I was so relieved. An instant peace fell over me that very moment.

I have not attended a meeting as of yet, although with the help of the blogs of Quaker Jane and Quaker Anne I have found that I am not alone in my draw toward plain dress. I thought about this for a very long time and after many discussions with my husband finally purchased my first bonnet. It has been an incredible journey of personal discovery, self acceptance, a way to break free of society's expectations of fashion for women, and a return to a simplicity I didn't know I could have. I still don't go out in public with my bonnet on if I am with my family, as they are not quite comfortable with the looks I tend to get. I wear it at home and have worn it out in public when out by myself. The process has been layered, forcing me to deal with psychological issues within myself, overcoming the fear of what others might think. I find I feel at peace and find myself more humble when I wear my bonnet. I suppose this is the outward reminder of what my faith is pressing upon me, but it feels right to me. The first time I put on my bonnet it was as if an old friend had returned to me, like I had seen myself that way before, although I had never worn a bonnet before.

I have begun to purchase and sew items from Friends Patterns and through links offered on the Quaker Jane blog, and I feel wonderful in them. Long skirts that cover, aprons and simple clothing. My immediate family accepts this about me thus far, although I have only told a few of my extended family members about it, as most of my extended family would not understand at this point. I hope it will become something that is more openly accepted in the future with them, but for now I am just relieved that my immediate family is accepting of my unexplained need to follow this path at this time in my life. I have learned a lot, and am so comforted by finding the Quaker community. I would love to make some new friends, as I am isolated as well.

Elin, I am fascinated by Scandinavia and the cultures within it. It is my area of concentration in my history studies. I am working toward becoming not only a librarian, but an archivist. Scandinavia, Finland, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and England, Germany and Austria are the places I love most. I lived in Bavaria, Germany for nearly three years and my son was born in Amberg (1 hour from Nurnberg). I miss so much about Europe! However at this time Maine feels like where we need to go.

Planning to move on our own is overwhelming, as we are used to Army moves and having systems in place to help us (and pay for the moving company!) The process is humbling as well, and we are eagerly looking forward to settling in New England hopefully next spring (although it could be earlier). My husband is trying to become a police officer, but is currently a college student using his GI Bill benefits to get us by. Transitioning out of the service during this recession has not exempted us from the same hardships that so many others currently face, but we are making our way through it, just as everyone else is.

We are hoping to eventually have some land that I can grow veggies on, and keep some animals. I want to return to a simpler life in every respect, teaching my children the value of hard work and how to handle the things that life throws at them. I am a back to the lander I guess you could say, a homesteader. I am interested in self sustainability, heirloom seeds, sewing and knitting, and of course, my books!

I hope to make some new Friends here, and I will read both of the blogs thee have listed in thy posts. Thank thee for sharing, and it is wonderful to connect with new Friends! Please forgive my very long post, I am sorry it is so long!

In Peace,
Jen

Permalink Reply by Simon Marc on 9th mo. 22, 2010 at 12:38pm

Hello Friend,
I too am Conservative, but thankfully have a liberal FGC Meeting I have attended for years,
so I am blessed.Do thee attend a Meeting, or are thee without fellowship of other Friends? I recently began the plain testimony in showing the Leadings of the Inward Light. Sometimes I preach @ Meetings when urged by Holy Spirit. Everyone is very receptive. I have been a Friend since I was 14. I am now---not 14.

Simon Marc

Permalink Reply by Elin Hagberg on 10th mo. 19, 2010 at 11:43am

Dear Jen,

Please feel free to ask me about Scandinavian culture or other things related to this if you wish. I very interested in culture and history myself so if I do not know I can perhaps find out.

I am also much into growing my own vegetables and living off the land but right now I live in an apartment in town. I hope to live a more natural life in a couple of years though when I hope to own a house in the countryside.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Webb on 12th mo. 23, 2010 at 4:48pm

Greetings!  Thanks for the reply! I apologize it has taken me so long to reply, I have been very busy with schoolwork and other family responsibilities.  I have not yet chosen a meeting to attend, although I know there is one in the valley where I live.  I am unsure yet just where I fit in, as I have some conservative views, and some more liberal ones.  I am highly passionate about LGBT folks gaining equality, which I fear will not fit into some conservative circles, however I am more traditional on other things.  I suppose that is just the complexity of being human.  I would prefer an unprogrammed meeting I think, as I crave silence in such a  loud world, although I do also love music for worship.  I will get involved with a meeting in Maine when we move in a few months.  Most of the meetings in the areas we are looking to move to are both FGC and FUM affiliated.  New England Yearly Meeting.

 

As of now, all my fellowship is through modalities such as this one.  It has been a wonderful blessing to me, and I thank all those who have been so kind and welcoming to me!

Permalink Reply by Jennifer Webb on 12th mo. 23, 2010 at 5:01pm

Thanks for the reply!  I saw also your post on the plain speech discussion about thee and you.  Very interesting how those words hold different grammatical and connotative tones in your native language!  I do not wish to use it here if it irritates! :-)

 

Thank you also for being an avenue for learning for me!  I was very close to getting up to Norway when we lived in Germany, but the trip was canceled, and I never got to go.  Traveling to Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Finland remain high on my list of things I must do before I die!  How I would love to get a chance to live in either Norway, Sweden or Finland for a time. I would love to work in a library in any of those places! 

 

I understand that it is hard to make country living work, although I think this internet is one thing that enables it more now, although a lot must align to take advantage of it, and that can take a long while to prepare for.  Some training and jobs do not conform or transcend easily to country life at all, and I understand that conflict as well!  Best wishes and lots of love and light to you, my friend!

Permalink Reply by Elin Hagberg on 12th mo. 27, 2010 at 2:38pm

No problems, I am not going to stop anyone from 'thee' the 'wrong' way just because it sounds strange to me...

 

As Sweden is just 'normal' to me I have a problem understanding that other people might find it an exotic and interesting country just like I am fascinated by India. For Indians India is of course just boring and normal. If you ever get the chance to go to Sweden or any of the Scandinavian countries do go outside the capital. Stockholm is Stockholm and it is a quite nice city but as most bigger cities it is not the real country if you get my drift. As I come from northern Sweden I am particial for this part of Sweden but anywhere outside would give a good picture of regular life for the average Swede.  Would you come to my parts or to the area I grew up in I would of course give you tips of places to go and to see.

 

I do already have a quite country-friendly profession as I am a teacher, English and history, and there are schools both in town and in the country so I do believe I could get a job in the country as well. (Please do not judge my ability to teach English from my entries here, I do not pay very much attention to grammar and spelling when I write in a forum) I do not think I would like to be a real farmer more grow my own vegetables and have some hens and ducks. My brother-in-law is a farmer and it is no picnic and he and his brother runs a big modern farm with 130 or so cows and all the modern equipment you can think of and still he works all the time. I do not want that, I think many jobs in town are less hard work and less stressful even if you have to commute. I want the simple (or maybe just less complicated) life and not have to pay for others to grow the vegetables and raise the animals I eat for food.