Abe Lincoln, Mark Twain and many others get credit for these words. As the idea has been around since pre-biblical Greek society, it is no wonder many people have said it, or something like it. The opposite seems ludicrous: Our words are more important and honest than our actions and choices. “Deeds are fruits but words are leaves” expresses the same idea with more imaginative language. In churches and other benevolent organizations, there is usually more discussion about budgets than there is about mission statements. This is because the budget is actually the more honest mission statement. It is where the “rubber meets the road.”

1 Corinthians 4:16
I appeal to you, then, be imitators of me.

This quote is mirrored almost word for word in other places (James 2:15-17, 1 John 3:18) and enacted with clarity in yet others (John 13:1-17). There is some irony that we know the most effective speaker in Christian history through his written words rather than his spoken words. The inadequacy of words (Paul’s very business) are still less effective than his actions. I once that heard congregants judge preachers by 50% on who they are, 35% how they say things and 15% on the content of their sermons. At first, I thought this was very cynical. However, it is the opposite. If a preacher doesn’t live a life consistent with their words and speak them with conviction of their truth and value, why should we bother to listen? It is the same in providing counsel. The strength of the therapeutic relationship predicts the success of counseling better than any other factor. The relationship is more important than education, experience or time spent in therapy. For those working with the marginalized - who have been let down and led astray by so many - it is even more important to be worthy of imitation at all times so that a relationship can grow. The same holds true for friendship. This presents a tall order for sure, but an unavoidable one.